It was my birthday last week. It was a pretty quiet one. Mr. Octopus took me to a nice dinner. I didn't have a to-do with friends. I think that may be happening this week.
It seemed like I had my last birthday about 8 months ago. I'm not one to make a big fuss about age-- I know that I'm still "young"-- but this birthday is a little harder than the last. Not because I ticked up one more year, but because I really feel like I'm hammering in the same spot with my life.
A friend of mine who is around my age recently said that we are in the prime of our lives. Somehow it doesn't feel that way. I've been out of school for a while and working steadily for several years. Life is stable, I have no real problems, I have a lot of be thankful for. But still I feel uneasy, like my life is purposeless and insignificant. I know the next step in life is having kids, but taking that out of the equation, what is supposed to be my focus? I'm not going to throw myself into my job, so what else is there? New hobbies? Home improvement projects? Exercising? Planning trips? Learning languages? Everything seems so unimportant.
For so long there was always a goal. Studying, finishing school, getting a job. Where am I supposed to channel my energy now? Is this why people train for triathalons?
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3 comments:
I'm so with you on that.
I've been feeling like that for a while, so I just keep working towards career goals. That gets unfulfilling too. Guess that's why people our age start to have kids.
My wife and I were like that for awhile. We traveled to just about every place we wanted (and more), got to a great point within our jobs, stayed out late until we got tired of it, did about 50 HGTV projects on our house, etc...
Wait until you have a kid (if you decide to have them) your whole entire life changes - your goals, ideas, everything. It's really hard to explain just like there's a difference between reading and visiting Rome, and then actually living there.
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