Wednesday, September 26, 2007

He's My Husband, Not My Kid

Maybe it's an Asian culture thing, but my parents, without fail, always find a reason to say "poor Mr. Octopus" every time I talk to them on the phone. It's usually in the context of my telling them that I didn't cook him dinner, or that he's still at work, or that I went out with my girlfriend and didn't take him. As if I should have dinner waiting for him and take care of everything. I know I shouldn't let it get to me. They're of a different generation and all. But it really rubs me the wrong way. I feel like Asian women of my generation are doing double duty. We were expected to do well in school and get good jobs, only to get married and have our parents expect us to cater to our husbands.

8 comments:

smudge said...

It's not just Asians...
My mom always guilts me because my husband does most of the house-cleaning, and neither of us cooks. She has gone so far as to say that I'm lucky he hasn't left me yet!

MK said...

EJ gets that nonsense from her parents all the time, too...

Nice Indian Girl said...

And if you don't get married, it's "Why did you focus on school and a career instead of finding a husband and having kids?" There's no way to win.

carol said...

chanchow, i must say, you really tell it like it is...i appreciate that!

wait til you have a kid. it'll be poor husband and poor kid.

Anonymous said...

you could have a long conversation w/ Oda on this topic.
dn

chanchow said...

wow, i guess this is pretty universal. that's comforting, in a sad way.

i hope that when we become parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, that we don't treat girls and boys differently...

kazumi said...

I fell into this trap BIG TIME with Luc and did everything for him. It was like I was conditioned (Mum had us in wife training from the age of six). He knew the relationship was over when I stopped doing his laundry... ;)

junebee said...

For all I know, the Citizen's parents are saying the same thing except it's in Chinese so I'll never know. I do recognize my name in their (very loud weekly) Skype conversations. Usually when I hear my name, I say "NOW what did I do?" The Citizen realizes he has to be a diplomatic translator.