Friday, April 14, 2006

Crazy TomKat

I'm starting to think that Tom Cruise isn't a real person. When you see him in interviews his eyes are intensely vacant; he looks like he's bubbling with anger and will explode at any moment. When he laughs his face scrunches up and he looks constipated. He must be a very advanced robot from outer space. One day smoke will start coming out of his head and the springs in his joints will pop out.

TomKat have been holding seminars about Kat's pregnancy. I would pay good money to sit in on one of those. Alas, I'm not a Scientologist, so I probably wouldn't make it past the gate. I'm starting to think Nicole must've been a nut to have stayed married to this dude for so long. From AP:
Tom Cruise has taken the impending birth of his first child with fiancee Katie Holmes to another level.

"We've been doing seminars with the family just to educate them," the 43-year-old star of the upcoming "Mission: Impossible III" film tells GQ magazine in its May issue, on newsstands April 25.

"Running seminars so we can understand what Kate's going through, and for Kate to understand it. Things like how to take care of a pregnant woman and get ready for the birth.

"It's just kind of becoming a fun game of learning. We've also been studying what happens after the birth and how to take care of the baby."

Cruise says his children, 11-year-old Connor and 13-year-old Isabella - from his marriage to Nicole Kidman - will help take care of the baby.

"The kids will have different responsibilities and run in shifts. They're going to help on every level," he tells the magazine.

9 comments:

jhbmw007 said...

TomKat Bobblehead on eBay!-
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6272004982

Anonymous said...

What an absolute freak. Those pics from Oprah are great. I've seen pics of Katie in the gossip rags, and that stomach of hers seriously looks abnormal. In any case, here's an interesting story about how "Stepford" she has become: http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/66589.htm. Pam

carol said...

Yo chanchow,
Whoa, he is one helluva nut-job, I'll say! How 'bout dem kids? They screwed...I feel sorry for them. Real sad.

junebee said...

I saw somewhere he plans to eat the placenta. Somethin' ain't right with that boy.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid you have all fallen victim the Hollywood publicity machine!! The new name "Tomkat" and the exhibiting of psycho obsessive heterosexuality are all just calculated publicity to completely switch the publics attention away the "Tom Cruise is gay rumors" that have been swirling around the past decade. Although I'm sure ol' Tomkat does have the best publicist in the business, they could probably convince readers of the New York Post that the world is flat and the moon is made of cream cheese ; )

chanchow said...

But the world is flat.

Seriously though, this may all be a ruse by Tom's agent to make us think that Tom is heterosexual, as you say. However, I have a hard time believing that Nicole and Penelope would play along with it. Another possibility is that this isn't a plan by Tom's agent, but one by the Church of Scientology to get publicity.

Anonymous said...

wow! You may be on to something - those Scientologists are capable of craftiness to a level that makes a Hollywood publicist look like hayseeds...

Can I get a toasted bagel with moon please?

chanchow said...

Here's an article on Tom's intention to eat placenta. Mentioned by Junebee above.

Octopus Grigori said...

You guys, that placenta stuff was a joke. Tom's a goofy guy! He makes jokes about stuff like eating placentae.